First in the "Feeling Valued Series" of Journals
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I’ve been far too long getting around to writing another blog post! I allowed life and lots of other projects to get in the way, including writing a series of self-help journals (soon to be published so watch this space!). Fortunately, I’ve just started an online course called The Quick Start Challenge which helps people get a website or blog online. It’s helping me iron out some of the glitches in my existing website and I’ve now merged my old tarot website (readmytarot.co.uk) with this website. And it has also motivated me to get another blog post written!
So, to continue the theme of my earlier posts…
In my earlier posts, I wrote about the defence mechanisms people sometimes use when they feel emotionally threatened. Stress of any kind causes the body to instantaneously flood with stress hormones, triggering the fight or flight response and the choices we make in those brief moments about how to react can have far-reaching consequences in terms of maintaining or losing valuable relationships.
If the emotional reaction is extreme and has the potential to be explosive (like intense anger or tears) then remove yourself from the vicinity immediately, just as you would if it was a physical bomb. The stress hormones will reduce if you don’t feed them more fuel. If you can go for a walk and work the stress hormones through and out of your body all the better. A withdrawal allows thinking time.
Or if you can’t escape the situation then take a few deep breaths and count to ten – good old-school wisdom that still works!
Time is your friend in this kind of situation. Find a quiet space to be alone. Remind yourself you are physically safe. Try and get back into the present moment. You will feel drawn backwards in time to relive the experience. Avoid the temptation. Stay in the present moment. Now is the time to focus on what you want, not what you don’t want. What is valuable to you in this situation? It’s no good winning a battle if you lose what’s most important to you overall.
Knowing your Priorities
There is nothing more valuable than your own creative spirit. It is the inspiration behind all of life’s good things. If you have a desire to make something good happen in your life then you need to learn to deal with the challenges and pain that will inevitably arise along your journey.
A long time ago I learned a technique which has served me well over the years. I created a mind sanctuary – a mental space and stress-free zone where I can re-group and reframe my thoughts and feelings.
In my next blog post I’ll tell you how I created it and how you could benefit from doing something similar. I promise my next post won’t take as long as the last one!